doesntdomuch | 09 | Text

[After Perry noticed that Rise vanished, he shut down completely. Losing his two closest friends here in a short period of time really took a toll on him, and soon he decided something:

He was not going to let anyone get this close to him, for everyone's sake.

So he packs everything up and leaves the house he was staying in in less than an hour, not even bothering to let anyone else know where's he's going.

However, while he didn't want anyone to worry about him, his Pokemon were incredibly worried about their trainer, especially his starter Bartholomew. He tried talking to him for hours to try to cheer him up but the most Perry will speak to him it reassuring Bartholomew that he's fine in a really cold-sounding voice.

Eventually he realized that he has no idea how to fix this, so when Perry's not paying attention (which, to be fair, wasn't super hard since he didn't seem to be paying attention to anything besides walking), Bartholomew snatched his Pokegear to ask everyone how to solve this.

Admittedly he's never written anything before, but he watched his trainer text a lot, especially when he still couldn't talk, so it shouldn't be too hard?]

HELP

PERRY IS WEIRD

BAD WEIRD

HE IS RUNNING AWAY

WILL BARELY SPEAK TO ME

WHAT DO I DO

[After about a minute Bartholomew decides he should clarify something.]

THIS IS BARTHOLOMEW THE GOLDUCK

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Seriously he couldn't have gotten a Pokemon that at least didn't want to kill his trainer?]

BE SERIOUS

AND I DON'T WANT MY TRAINER TO DIE

THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF THE KIND OF HELP I WANT AND NEED

I AM BEING SERIOUS, HUMANS ARE THE WORST. THEY'RE A POINTLESS SPECIES THAT WALKS AROUND BEING POINTLESS COMPLETELY UNAWARE OF HOW POINTLESS THEY ARE ALL THE TIME. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TALKING TO ONE? I CAN'T EVEN GO FIVE SECONDS WITHOUT WANTING TO BASH MY HEAD AGAINST A WALL. FULL OF THRONS SEE IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE I'M A BALLOON BUT OKAY, IF YOU REALLY WANT YOUR TRAINER TO STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM HIS RESPONSIBILITIES, HAVE YOU TRIED--IDK--USING AN ICE-TYPE MOVE TO FREEZE HIM IN PLACE? YOU WATER-TYPES LEARN ICE MOVES, RIGHT? JUST ICE-SPIT HIS FEET SO HE CAN'T GO ANYWHERE, THERE PROBLEM SOLVED. AND THEN WHEN THE ICE DECAYS HIS WEAK HUMAN FLESH, HE WON'T HAVE ANY FEET TO RUN AWAY WITH ANYMORE. SERIOUSLY, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY BE WRITING THIS DOWN.

FIRST OF ALL, MY TRAINER WASN'T EVEN A HUMAN BEFORE WAKING UP HERE

I THINK HE WAS KIND OF LIKE US? MAYBE

[Bartholomew no that is secret information.]

ALSO I DON'T KNOW WHAT HUMANS YOU'RE TALKING TO

AND IF YOU'RE TELLING ME TO FREEZE HIM UNTIL HIS FLESH DECAYS, I'M PRETTY SURE THAT WOULD ALSO KILL HIM

WOW, THAT'S LIKE EVEN WORSE. YOU COULDN'T EVEN GET A NORMAL HUMAN TRAINER, YOU ARE LITERALLY CRYING OVER A FREAK OF NATURE GOOD JOB.

[Not that Murasaki realizes he's currently in the same boat, but he's yet to experience a fourth wall event.]

ALSO ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW, YOU KNOW YOU CAN SURVIVE WITHOUT YOUR FEET RIGHT??? IM JUST SAYING HIS STUPID TENDER FEET FLESH WOULD PROBABLY PEEL OFF LIKE A GROSS FOOT BANANA ONCE IT GETS TOO COLD, I'M NOT TELLING YOU TO ENCASE HIS ENTIRE BODY IN A BLOCK OF ICE I MEAN, THAT'S THE PREFERABLE OPTION, BUT YOU SEEM TO HAVE SOME SORT OF WEIRD MORTAL ATTACHMENT TO YOUR NOT-HUMAN SO WHATEVER

YES, HOW DARE MY TRAINER BE FORCED INTO A BODY THEY DIDN'T ASK FOR. WHAT A MONSTER

YOU KNOW WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, RIGHT?

UNLESS YOU SAYING THAT I DRAG HIS BODY ALL THE WAY TO THE NEXT TOWN, HE WOULD BE TRAPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE AND THEN PROBABLY DIE FROM DEHYDRATION OR LACK OF FOOD.

[Sure Perry has a flying Pokemon but he's not going to mention that out of spite.]

IF YOU ASK ME, THAT'S THE PERFECT PLACE TO FREEZE SOMEBODY'S FEET OFF, THEN NO ONE CAN HEAR HIM COMPLAIN. BUT REALLY NOW, WHY ARE YOU DEFENDING THIS GUY SO MUCH? HE OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK IF HE'S RUNNING AWAY AND WON'T EVEN LISTEN TO YOU. YOU HAD TO MAKE A CRY FOR HELP, THAT'S HOW DESPERATE YOU ARE. I SAY COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS AND LET HIM RUN AWAY TO...WHEREVER, YOU'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM.

I'M DEFENDING HIM BECAUSE HE NEEDS ME, WHETHER HE SAYS HE DOES OR NOT

IF YOU ASK ME, I THINK HE'S DOING THIS BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT OTHER PEOPLE TO GET CLOSE TO HIM

BUT I DON'T WANT HIM TO BECOME A HERMIT

HIS FRIEND LEFT TODAY SO THAT'S WHERE IT CAME FROM

...YOU KNOW THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT BETTER, RIGHT? IF ANYTHING, IT ONLY MAKES IT WORSE

THE FACT THAT I'M NOT EVEN IN HIS POKEBALL RIGHT NOW SHOULD SPEAK VOLUMES WHETHER PERRY WANTS ME AROUND OR NOT

AND IF HE WAS TRYING TO LOSE ME OUTSIDE THE POKEBALL HE WOULD PROBABLY MOVE FASTER THAN 'BRISK WALKING'

BESIDES 'EXPRESSING HIS EMOTIONS' WERE NEVER ONE OF PERRY'S STRONG SUITS

I DON'T THINK THINKING IN GENERAL IS ONE OF HIS STRONG SUITS

YOU SURE DO ACT LIKE YOU KNOW A LOT ABOUT MY TRAINER DESPITE JUST LEARNING ABOUT HIM TODAY

I MEAN, YOU PRETTY MUCH TOLD ME EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE GUY HE SOUNDS LIKE EVERY OTHER RAGING DOOFUS THIS PLACE HAS TO OFFER

HE'S LESS OF A RAGING DOOFUS THAN YOU AT LEAST

GOSH YOU KEEP THAT UP AND YOU MIGHT EVEN HURT MY FEELINGS

I'M JUST BEING HONEST

BESIDES AT LEAST HE DOESN'T BARGE INTO PEOPLE WORRYING ABOUT THEIR FRIENDS AND JOKE ABOUT MURDERING THEM

UM I DON'T MURDER PEOPLE I DRAG SOULS TO THE UNDERWORLD ...AND I GUESS FREEZE FEET NOW BUT NONE OF THAT IS MURDER

EITHER WAY I DOUBT PERRY WOULD COME BACK FROM BEING TAKEN TO THE UNVERWORLD

I KNOW!! IT'S GREAT!!

NO IT'S NOT!

AS I SAID IT'S THE OPPOSITE OF THE HELP I NEED

YOU MORTALS JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU NEED

I'M PRETTY SURE NO MORTAL NEEDS TO BE DRAGGED TO THE UNDERWORLD

09 | Text | ???

[Text]

[Text]

[Text]

[Text]

[Text]

[Text]

[Text]

[Text]

[Text]

[Text]

[Text]

[Text]

[Text]

[Text]

[Text]

[Text]

Re: [Text]

[Text]

[Text]

[Text]

[Text]